Anger - a deeper look

Anger is a very disruptive emotion that weakens, intrudes and damages many relationships. I sit with couples quite often where both parties are immersed in anger, you could say ”possessed” in anger.  It is most worthwhile to get curious about anger. It is essentially a response to a perceived threat. It is a response deeply wired within our biology for the purposes of survival. The principles of anger management encompass all the aspects of emotional regulation. These include: increasing awareness; understanding the heightened emotional state; and understanding the effect that this has on our perception and our thinking. This is followed by a range of techniques that allow us the “defuse” from the psychophysiological experience of anger. This is largely about having the capacity of “self-soothing”: maintaining a calm centre and adjusting our thinking so we can show up with our best self – not our fearful/ threatened/reactive/defensive self. The latter form of self is likely to get you into trouble – especially in heated arguments with another person who is also angry.

I was listening recently to a podcast where Thubten Chodron was being interviewed about anger and it allows a deeper, Buddhist, examination of the nature of anger. Thubten Chodron is a well known Buddhist nun who has written many books (including ones specifically on anger) and engaged in a range of community work. Its worth a listen – remember – with anger – always get curious, open your mind, find a better way. Here is a link to the podcast:

https://tricycle.org/podcast/thubten-chodron/